News Karnataka

NK Satire: the week that was October 7 to 13

NK Satire: the week that was October 7 to 13

Brian Fernandes   ¦    Oct 13, 2018 03:48:04 PM (IST)

NK Satire: the week that was October 7 to 13-1


“Laughter is an instant vacation.” said Milton Berle.  Here at NK, we would like to contribute to lightening your mood in preparation for a meaningful and relaxed weekend. So here's the tongue- in-cheek look at the events of the week gone by that you’ve been waiting for :)

From we two to me too. That’s the story that made headlines all this week, besides the lighting and elephants of Dushera which having appeared every year at this time are now passé for most despite their grandeur.

There was a sub heading. The IT and ED departments have coined their own (own?) hashtag #himtoo after raiding (or surveying? Still not clear) the offices and residence of the promoter of a very well respected (in non-government circles that is) media group – Quintillion Media whose website has reportedly been, in the recent past critical of what the government at the centre does (raids like these among other things) and doesn’t do (explain the Rafale deal among other things) and an aide of the Andhra CM who pulled away from the ruling party on the basis of lack of funding for his state and faith that they would do so at some point in the future. #himtoo also singed the former Finance Minister and his son, whose properties were attached in anticipation of putting them in jail (Apparently they won’t need them, was the premise!)

Let’s get back to the fundamentals of the week. Like they say while talking about Dalal Street, the sentiments are strong. We two may become me one as the #metoo, chorus grows stronger! It’s travelled a long way from the USA and taken a long time to reach Indian shores, but now that it has reached, the social media vibrant country has taken it to heart.

The Acapella is rich and all female, and often not in sync, but it does make for discordant music in the ears of the government, and the famous and often rich males, who were used to making their own music earlier, literally, without anyone complaining about the discordant notes. That the chorus was a long time in development, because of the lack of the internet and social media, will not wish it away – like social media and possibly because of it, it is here to stay. It may also go beyond the name to shame the fame game – but that will depend on #themtoo. Either way, #allofyoutoo must understand that No means NO and not #yestoo despite the memes that go around on interpretation of female communication – He: “I am going to the sports bar with the boys”’ She: “Fine”

This might have turned out to be a gender biased satire, were it not for a few good men! For women are also at the centre of another successful #metoo campaign – entry into the Sabarimala temple; which they are now free to do at any age, post the Supreme Court’s order on the subject.

Some women have gently disagreed with that ruling for religious rather than biological reasons. Most men however have strongly disagreed with the verdict – the reasons are amorphous, but the resistance fierce as if their lives depended on it when in fact it was the women’s lives that depended on it. Sample this from the report in the online edition of the Indian Express posted on October 13, 2018 at 6:52:52 am;

“Malayalam movie actor Kollam Thulasi on Friday said that women who enter the Sabarimala temple should be “torn into two pieces”. He was speaking at a at a ‘Save Sabarimala’ campaign organised by constituents of BJP-led NDA in Kollam where he shared the stage with BJP state president P S Sreedharan Pillai.
He told the crowd at the event: “You mothers should go to Sabarimala. Because some women will come there. They should be torn into two pieces. One portion should be thrown to Delhi and another to the room of the chief minister. I know, you are not going… because you are all educated and sensible… Ayyappan has started working.. the mind of Devaswom minister has started changing.” Emergent wisdom is that change is the only constant!

The common association when the phrase ‘two pieces’ is used is with a bikini. Here it has been used uniquely despite the only connection with Shashi Taroor being that that they both are from the same state! Are we in a for a #themtwo Movement?

How can the satire of any week be replete without the boom of a Rafale jet? The boom is all over the country and some media, and this week it also reached France as the Defence minister, performing her role to a ‘T’, defended the deal, once again, this time from French soil.

The French don’t mind soiling their hands too, as their unemployment rates rise above 9% and the GDP growth slows to below 2% this year. Meanwhile in Delhi, Union Minister Piyush Goyal (one of many acting as defence ministers, including the Agriculture minister!) cited the comments of Rafale's French manufacturer Dassault Aviation's CEO Eric Trappier to reject Rahul Gandhi's allegations. (Surprisingly they don’t quote the Italian courts in the Augusta Westland deal) Goyal said the French government and Dassault had “exposed” Gandhi's “fake news” and it was high time for him to stop lying.

This, even as the Supreme Court directed the Government to give them the genuine news in a sealed cover. Wonder where they will find it…. When it’s all in the mind!

Last word
This from a news report in “A Dubai-bound Air India plane flew for three hours with extensive damage to its body after hitting a wall during take-off from Trichy in Tamil Nadu. A little after 1.30 am on Friday night, the plane hurtled down the Trichy airport runway at a speed of 250-290 km per hour and nicked the boundary wall before it was up in the air. Two of its wheels hit the airport perimeter wall, which collapsed on impact, officials said. It turned out to be a "very, very close shave" (razors are not allowed in the cabin baggage) for with 136 passengers and crew members. It was only when the plane landed in Mumbai early in the morning that it was found that its fuselage or body was practically "shredded". The plane could even be a write-off.

The Air Traffic Control then contacted the pilots that the aircraft "might have come in contact" with the airport perimeter wall. "The pilot in command reported that the aircraft systems were operating normally," said Air India Express in a statement. The pilots have been grounded for an investigation.”

What a coincidence – it is exactly what Governments say when scams are first reported: “All systems are operating normally”!

Have a good weekend and a great week ahead.

The author can be contacted at